I am a 19 year . My parents have been separated since I was about 8, and I’m an only child. Since I was about 12 years old, I have been engaging in a sexual affair with my mother’s younger brother who lives with us. When it started initially, it scared me a lot, and when I told my mum, she dismissed and accused me of making it up, I even got shouted at for trying to ’ spoil his name’.
Afterwards, I began to enjoy being with him, I was young, so the little treats he would give me made me feel like he genuinely loved me as he claimed. He was responsible for picking me up from school and I would be with him, whilst I did my homework, he would touch me and I was vulnerable so I responded, and even performed oral sex on him, and I would not to tell anybody because nobody would believe me.
At 16, I moved away to boarding school and found that when I left, I missed him a lot, the way he made me feel, the things he said, the way , the excitement of the secret. I would come home on the holidays excited to see him, and through the holidays, it would continue, sometimes I even initiated it. On one , I lost my virginity to him. After that, I genuinely felt like I loved him.
I convinced my parents to allow me move back home to attend a day school, and when I did, it just continued. I have never had such strong feelings for any other guy, and whenever I have seen him with women, I’m enraged. To get to the point of this email, I am now in university, and I am still involved in this relationship, I am not dating and none of my friends know, but now, I am 6 weeks pregnant. I have never been pregnant before, and we usually use protection but I am and it could only be for him, because I have never been with anybody else.
I have informed him, and he accused me of sleeping around at university and insists that I get an abortion immediately, I can’t talk to anybody else about this and I am desperate for advice. I have cried, and prayed for forgiveness, and the idea of an abortion scares me, but I still find myself wanting to please my uncle, because a part of me really does love him. I also cannot bear the thought of tearing my family apart.
Should I tell somebody about this, or just get an abortion?