One of my biggest fears in life, next to eating booty, is having sex with a girl and her father come home.
So me and my ex was at the crib watching Mulan like a real nigga should when she started grabbing at my pants. I slapped her hand away cause it was cold in her house and my shit was da size of a Halloween edition snickers bar at da moment. Females need to understand that niggas got to get hard before they reach for pants, goku let that nigga frieza power up to 100% so why cant I?
After I finished charging special meter, me and her starting fooling around but it ain't get far cause we heard a door open up downstairs. I started sweating like a pastor's forehead and immediately got back in my cloths when her father stepped in the room like angry buffalo. Bruh had da muscle time of Kimbo, slice and terry crews at the same time...
It was only one thing to do...I started acting gay as hell! He asked me what I was doing in his daughter's room and I just smacked my lips after every syllable and started painting my nails in that bitch. I turned to my girl and said:
"He cute gurllllllll. Where yo mom find him?"
I shoulda got a Oscar for this performance. He just walked out like:
"oh ite , glad I ain't have to hurt you, you know how niggas be these days"
I just batted my eyelashes, and turned on some Frank Ocean. I ain't proud of that shit but I wasn't finna get my ass beat by Vin Diesal n shit. Take dis lean!